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Ishmael

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"DoA in the US" , posted Fri 15 Jun 03:58

It took long enough but the Dead or Alive movie is finally limping into US theaters this weekend. Here I had figured the movie was going to go straight to DVD or, perhaps, straight to the landfill.

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Juan

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"Re(1):DoA in the US" , posted Fri 15 Jun 04:09

Relevant to this subject!

Undead Fred

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"Re(2):DoA in the US" , posted Fri 15 Jun 04:25

quote:
Relevant to this subject!

Wow, November of 2005? Sure as hell took their sweet time...

Dr Baghead

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"Re(1):DoA in the US" , posted Sun 17 Jun 19:48

I'm really impressed I haven't seen one commerical for it yet...

I bet they're going for the "idiots who didn't check what time FF2:RotSS started at and went to the theatre an hour early" market... cuz really who else would even know this was out there?

I'm kinda interested in seeing how horrible this movie really is, I hope it's on USA or SciFi or Spike or some other shithole cable channel in a few years like all the other bad videogame based movies cuz I ain't spending real money OR wasting a spot in my netflix queue to see it.

Blanka and Dan make for a most excellent tag image (yeah

still not funny)
my silly little drawin's

Ishmael

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"Re(2):DoA in the US" , posted Tue 19 Jun 01:47

Pulled from CNN:

Opening in narrower release was the Weinstein Co. thriller "DOA: Dead or Alive," an adaptation of the martial-arts video game that pulled in just $232,000. Playing in 505 theaters, "DOA" averaged a paltry $460 a cinema, compared to $14,499 in 3,959 theaters for "Fantastic Four" and $2,732 in 2,612 locations for "Nancy Drew."

So what was the point of releasing this movie theatrically? Was there some obscure distribution clause in some contract somewhere that caused DoA to show up? Did the failure of "Grindhouse" send the company into a panic? I don't know, but I can't imagine anyone is too thrilled with those results.

Maou

1133th Post

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"Re(3):DoA in the US" , posted Tue 19 Jun 02:02

quote:
pulled in just $232,000

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
That is the most hilarious sum I have ever seen. Dead in the Water is a bit closer, I guess. This one might hit the cult of infamous ironically funny movies people watch in ten or so years if its content is equally delightfully awful.

人間はいつも私を驚かせてくれる。不思議なものだな、人間という存在は．．．

hikarutilmitt

411th Post

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"Re(4):DoA in the US" , posted Tue 19 Jun 06:15

Amazingly enough, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be. That is to say, it wasn't as bad as a Boll film.

If you go in expecting cheese and trash you get it, but if you're entertained by cheese and trash it's entertaining.

I wouldn't pay more than matinee or last-minute theater price for a ticket, but it was worth seeing the train wreck happen once you get past the wretched Kasumi part of the intro and then past the initial round of fights.

Dare I say, there were one or two parts where it was almost good in a few ways,

Undead Fred

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"Re(4):DoA in the US" , posted Tue 19 Jun 06:16

quote:
pulled in just $232,000 Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
That is the most hilarious sum I have ever seen. Dead in the Water is a bit closer, I guess. This one might hit the cult of infamous ironically funny movies people watch in ten or so years if its content is equally delightfully awful.

I was gonna say, "Dead on Arrival, more like! HAW HAW HAW" but you sort of beat me to it.

Maou

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"Re(5):DoA in the US" , posted Tue 19 Jun 06:28

quote:
I was gonna say, "Dead on Arrival, more like! HAW HAW HAW" but you sort of beat me to it.

So sneaky! I worry that they didn't try to make it offensively bad enough in that they seem to have failed to give the non-Asian actresses playing Asian characters the "Asian makeup" that used to happen in the darker earlier days of US cinema.

人間はいつも私を驚かせてくれる。不思議なものだな、人間という存在は．．．

Undead Fred

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"Kasumi will eat your soul." , posted Tue 19 Jun 06:36

quote:
So sneaky! I worry that they didn't try to make it offensively bad enough in that they seem to have failed to give the non-Asian actresses playing Asian characters the "Asian makeup" that used to happen in the darker earlier days of US cinema.

Heh heh. "Princess" Kasumi and White Ayane were enough to go "eww," but it looked like an atomic bomb made up of Charlie's Angels retardation mixed with Van Damme Street Fighter to me. GROSS GROSS GROSS

justicekyo

683th Post

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"Re(1):DoA in the US" , posted Thu 21 Jun 05:03

quote:
It took long enough but the Dead or Alive movie is finally limping into US theaters this weekend. Here I had figured the movie was going to go straight to DVD or, perhaps, straight to the landfill.

Kevin Nash ftw!!!

Freeter

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"Re(2):DoA in the US" , posted Thu 21 Jun 11:26

quote:
Kevin Nash ftw!!!

More like Jaime Pressly ftw.

Seriously, they actually made her look like she could do kung-fu...that flip kick she did on Zack was insane.

Catalyst
229th Post

Frequent Customer

"Re(3):DoA in the US" , posted Thu 21 Jun 12:22

quote:
Kevin Nash ftw!!!

More like Jaime Pressly ftw.

Seriously, they actually made her look like she could do kung-fu...that flip kick she did on Zack was insane.

Surely men we can agree to some liking? I'm not much into celebrities but Holly Valence is pretty. Wait you guys were talking about kung fu and action huh =/...left out there on this one =(. lol

Tracking Treasure Down - Gabriel and Dresden

hikarutilmitt

412th Post

Gold Customer

"Re(4):DoA in the US" , posted Thu 21 Jun 15:04

One other thing I just remembered that I noticed at the theater: they changed the poster apparently for us, giving ugly Kasumi the center with some slightly different working around her and the others instead of giving, Helena I think it was, the center of the poster like in the promo/international/whatever posters I kept seeing for the past 2 years. They also changed the tagline.

And did anyone else think Lei Fang was just butt ugly in this?

dr baghead

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"Re(3):DoA in the US" , posted Sat 23 Jun 18:59

quote:
Kevin Nash ftw!!!

More like Jaime Pressly ftw.

Speaking of... how are Bass and Tina related in the movie?

I assume given how the movie is nothing like the games they're probably not related at all similar to Nightcrawler and Mystique in the X-Men movies (since there's no way Kevin Nash could pass as Jamie Pressly's father) but did they attempt to give them a link, like are they siblings, cousins, etc?

Blanka and Dan make for a most excellent tag image (yeah

still not funny)
my silly little drawin's

Gojira

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"Re(4):DoA in the US" , posted Sat 23 Jun 19:32

Nope, it's the same, right down to the incestual overtones.

Oroch

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"Re(4):DoA in the US" , posted Sat 23 Jun 19:34

quote:
Kevin Nash ftw!!!

More like Jaime Pressly ftw.

Speaking of... how are Bass and Tina related in the movie?

I assume given how the movie is nothing like the games they're probably not related at all similar to Nightcrawler and Mystique in the X-Men movies (since there's no way Kevin Nash could pass as Jamie Pressly's father) but did they attempt to give them a link, like are they siblings, cousins, etc?

they made them father daughter

i like the have asian half white ayane, that was about it

the other chicks were fucking ugly

needed more tits also

Dr BaGhEaD

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"Re(5):DoA in the US" , posted Sun 24 Jun 18:25

quote:
Nope, it's the same, right down to the incestual overtones.

(does an IMDb search) ah, I guess a 19 year age difference (which depending on they acted and how Nash was made up could pass for 23 or so) is believible, I thought Kevin Nash was younger and Jamie Presly slightly older so it was like like Bass had to be 8 to be her father...

but still Hulk Hogan is 27 years older then his wannabe pop-star/actress/model daughter so maybe the movie Tina and Bass are still too close in age when compared to the real deal.

Blanka and Dan make for a most excellent tag image (yeah

still not funny)
my silly little drawin's