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| Mav
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|  "Shikigami 2 - Lost in Translation" , posted Tue 1 Nov 14:14
A few months back, I luckily stumbled across a used copy of the US localization, Castle Shikigami 2. While I very, very much support the idea of companies bringing good shooter games to the US, the translation process involved on this one is worth a few laughs.
Clearly the budget price tag forced this company to botch the translation process somewhere. Amazingly enough, this lack didn't stop them from dubbing it over in this psuedo-English. Only about half the voice actors bother to improvise with the stiff lines given to them.
So! On to the fun. I was so tickled by the translations, I transcribed all of the main character's storyline. I've tried to format it as much like the original game presented it, as the akward pauses were some of the fun. So each return line is a new text-box, if you can picture it. Each skipped line is a new portion of story. Additionally, I've triple-checked this against the original game text, so all spelling errors are from the game. I'd toss out the usual spoiler warnings, but if you can make sense of this story, you probably already know it. Here goes.
--Kotaro Kuga-- (Ko)
Ko: We don't need it.
OK maybe it's time to play hero.
Come on!
Boss - Alala Cran: Hi there. What a cute boy.
Interested in my body, aren't you?
Ko: Not interested.
Cran: Oh, you're into that?
Ko: I like girls. But now it's about justice!
My name is Ko. Beating down evil!
Stop bothering me! You have two choices.
A Beaten then caught.
B Caught then beaten.
Cran: You're an idiot. Let me finish you.
*Fight*
Cran: Oh no.
Ko: Go home. Regret this.
Cran: It's Idiot Power!
*Cran explodes*
Ko: Still a bit green. I'm only 17.
Too much fighting! I don't like it!!
I'm so pissed! Stop making trouble!
Kicking your butts!
Boss - Dandeon
Ko: That's it, villain.
D: What a cool line! Quite the hero.
I am Dandeon, keeping it a fool-free zone.
Ko: My name is Ko! Beating down evil.
Taking no excuses. Beating you down!
D:Very angry! A real hothead.
I like that. An honor to beat you.
*Fight*
D:That's why we were chosen by the castle.
Ko:What?
D:Don't recognise it.
*Explodes*
Ko: Damn! Is that my fault?
Don't mess with me. I'll win every fight.
Sorry for any trouble. Well, I'm done.
Boss - Aja Brothers (Classified each by their color.)
white: Hahh!
red: Hnnnn!
Ko: Oooooh!
r: Big Bro. He shouts like we do!
w: He's the same kind as we are.
Shouting for anger!
Ko: Not alike. I'm a hero. Well I'm done.
w: How can you tell?
Ko: Heroes help society, not make trouble.
*Fight*
r: Big Bro!
w: The fool's strong.
Ko: Don't say fool?
*Both brothers explode*
Ko: I hate dirty tricks. Must beat you down.
Giving you choices.
A. Beaten and caught. B. Caught and beaten.
Boss - Yukari Horiguchi
Y: Hail, alien duelist.
Nine deeds so far. This game's too easy.
Ko: Give you two choices. Villain.
A. Beaten and caught B. Caught and beaten.
Y:Me, villain? You're mean.
Ko:Life isn't a game! You are very wrong.
*Fight*
Y:mphhh!
Ko:Don't say anything. Tired of your lines.
Let me tell you tha I know I'm an idiot.
*Yukari explodes*
Ko: But,
no other way to live for someone like me.
Boss - Shintaro Kuga
Shin:You came, Ko.
Ko: Bro. Sin.
S: Any expectations?
Ko: No way, villain. Not your business!
Whoever you are. Pick one. Bastard.
A. Beaten and caught B. Caught and beaten.
S:Still like a boy. Being thoughtless.
That's OK, Ko. Shall we fight now?
*Fight*
S:You won, Ko.
Ko:Villains always lose.
S:You're totally alone. Don't you know that?
Wanted to be you. You won't be alone.
Ko: Making trouble for that reason?
Villains gather. Heroes don't. Alone.
I don't mind it if I die alone.
*Ending* *Screen says "Disappearing castle."*
*Kotaro is standing by some silver-haired chick with elf ears.*
Ko:Case closed.
Should be charged All of them.
*On screen*Ko smiled a bit.
Ko: Nice view. A silver lining.
.....
Oooh, I still don't understand this case.
It's over. Let's go eat.
---------
Thus concludes Castle Shikigami 2's main story. Mysterious! Not in a good way.
If enough people got a kick out of this, I'll consider transcribing the other stories. Maybe just make a FAQ. It's not too hard, with the Story Recollect feature. There are many more lines even more amazing than "kicking your butts."
As a last note, for those that recall Shikigami 1 was brought over under the title of Mobile Light Force 2 - The manual (alone!) lists their Shiki attacks as MOBILE LIGHT FORCE 3 ATTACKs.
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