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Re(2):Rest in Peace Toxico
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I am so shocked and sad. I’ve known Toxico virtually for at least seventeen years, more than many friends I’ve met in real life. I know there were many aspects of Toxico I didn’t know, but what a joy to have been able to share in (and learn from) his passions over the years! I was always so impressed by his worldliness and knowledge of Japanese, American, and other cultures far beyond what he had suggested was a pretty remote upbringing. The breadth of art, games, and culture he was familiar with and shared with people who might not otherwise have encountered them was so striking and wonderful. It really speaks to his overwhelming energy and interest in our particular aspect of the human endeavor, plus the most positive sides of community and friendship that can be born online. His consistent positivity and humor were really remarkable, too. Like Prof said, we were just in a group chat the other day, and I never would have guessed he was ill---he was too busy cracking me up for me to realize. I’d heard of online grief before, but this is the first time I have experienced it. I wish I could tell his family what a stand-out guy he was. Bafflingly, I never even knew his real name, though I’d be instantly comfortable sitting down with him in an izakaya or in the middle of Akiba or way over in Chile. Can you have total trust in someone you’ve never laid eyes on? I think Toxico is proof that you can, after so many years of conversations in various mediums. One of the many wonderful things about the international crowd at the Cafe is knowing that you always have a friend you can visit somewhere in the world. I’ve loved getting to meet so many of you, and I always imagined that I’d meet my Chilean brother in person after all these years, and I feel so sorry that that chance has gone. One of my favorite recent memories is my many hours of tagging along with Toxico on the MMCafe Dragon’s Crown team, where he’d shepherd me along with the bafflingly strong characters he’d developed through so much patience and study. I literally saw new places for the first time while adventuring with him, and loved all the chats and advice he’d share along the way. It really felt like being with a senpai or your sports team’s coach. Even after we'd all gotten too sleepy to play anymore, we'd often keep chatting until early morning on all kinds of nostalgic delights and new discoveries. What’s evidently referred to in the English version of Dragon's Crown as the “Tower of Mirages” is actually 夢幻の天廊, much closer to the “Dreamlike Heavenly Corridor,” where I like to imagine him heading now. PS: Sibarraz, thanks for letting us know. If your mutual friends are able to share condolences, or even point friends and family who speak English towards our group, I'd love for them to know that our Toxico has friends on so many continents who will miss him.
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