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| Ammadeau 823th Post
 
Red Carpet Regular Member+
   
    
    
|  "Designs for a new webcomic"
, posted Tue 30 Mar 21:40
Mermaid Academy
Some saw the earlier versions of this on the image board, but I wanted to post it here in case some people missed it there.
The basic premise of the comic is due to global warming, the seas rose and covered 1/3 of the land. The remaining land is also very very hot. The main characters live in a somewhat overcrowded underwater city and attend the all-girls military academy there. Because neither of them are able to pay tuition or anything, they have the job of finding out if other students are committing infractions and reporting them. Basically, they're snitches and most other students dislike them for it.
Natsuko is the tough girl and was born as a medical experiment so she can breathe in and out of the water. Megumi is the genius hacker girl and part-time inventor. They find the android and for complicated reasons will have to pass her off as a student of the academy, though a female bounty hunter is looking for the android, assisted by her twin flunkies and CU-02...
Plot is actually pretty complicated so I won't try to explain it all here. The main reason I'm posting is selfishly looking for a little help on this. So any comments anyone has about the character designs, especially the design of the school uniform, would be very nice to hear. The uniform needs to function both in and out of the water which is why its basically a wetsuit and I tried to keep it simple because I'm going to be drawing it a heck of a lot, but because of that I'd like it to look as good as possible so I wouldn't mind adding a few more likes if it helps it to look better.
Also need a little story-related help. The most important thing is I need a name other students call the Natsuko-Megumi partnership. Pity Dirty Pair is already taken. I'm looking for something that's meant to be insulting, but that the two girls could still accept as their name, so it can't be really insulting. Not something a teacher would mark you down for if they caught you saying anyway. Bonus points if its somehow sea or water related.
Also, I'd like to have nicknames for the different years, also sea-related. I'm thinking the first year students would be Guppies while 4th year (which is optional and for special forces types) would be Barracudas. That still leaves me with nothing to call 2nd or 3rd year though.
And I'm drawing a blank for a name for CU-01, though I might think of something by the time I get to her. Something a little unusual would be best and she's also kind of like a mermaid... little hard to explain, though this will be the first time she's actually had legs since she operated in space before then.
Oh, for those who think this will be like an underwater version of Maria-sama, there will be guys in this, in fact there are two on the second page, but they just won't be too common. There's an all-male school called Neptune Academy that's sort of a rival to Mermaid Academy... so it's a bit like Battle Athletes in that respect, only the head of MA is a woman and not a perverted guy.
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| Black_Hayato
72th Post
Occasional Customer
| "Re(1):Designs for a new webcomic" , posted Tue 30 Mar 22:11:
quote:
Mermaid Academy
Some saw the earlier versions of this on the image board, but I wanted to post it here in case some people missed it there.
The basic premise of the comic is due to global warming, the seas rose and covered 1/3 of the land. The remaining land is also very very hot. The main characters live in a somewhat overcrowded underwater city and attend the all-girls military academy there. Because neither of them are able to pay tuition or anything, they have the job of finding out if other students are committing infractions and reporting them. Basically, they're snitches and most other students dislike them for it.
Natsuko is the tough girl and was born as a medical experiment so she can breathe in and out of the water. Megumi is the genius hacker girl and part-time inventor. They find the android and for complicated reasons will have to pass her off as a student of the academy, though a female bounty hunter is looking for the android, assisted by her twin flunkies and CU-02...
Plot is actually pretty complicated so I won't try to explain it all here. The main reason I'm posting is selfishly looking for a little help on this. So any comments anyone has about the character designs, especially the design of the school uniform, would be very nice to hear. The uniform needs to function both in and out of the water which is why its basically a wetsuit and I tried to keep it simple because I'm going to be drawing it a heck of a lot, but because of that I'd like it to look as good as possible so I wouldn't mind adding a few more likes if it helps it to look better.
Also need a little story-related help. The most important thing is I need a name other students call the Natsuko-Megumi partnership. Pity Dirty Pair is already taken. I'm looking for something that's meant to be insulting, but that the two girls could still accept as their name, so it can't be really insulting. Not something a teacher would mark you down for if they caught you saying anyway. Bonus points if its somehow sea or water related.
Also, I'd like to have nicknames for the different years, also sea-related. I'm thinking the first year students would be Guppies while 4th year (which is optional and for special forces types) would be Barracudas. That still leaves me with nothing to call 2nd or 3rd year though.
And I'm drawing a blank for a name for CU-01, though I might think of something by the time I get to her. Something a little unusual would be best and she's also kind of like a mermaid... little hard to explain, though this will be the first time she's actually had legs since she operated in space before then.
Oh, for those who think this will be like an underwater version of Maria-sama, there will be guys in this, in fact there are two on the second page, but they just won't be too common. There's an all-male school called Neptune Academy that's sort of a rival to Mermaid Academy... so it's a bit like Battle Athletes in that respect, only the head of MA is a woman and not a perverted guy.
Thats an original idea you have there. Would a wetsuit be impractical if they're spending most of the time on in the underwater city? If anything putting on a wetsuit would be like putting on a coat to go out into the weather. Maybe the students can wear a two part uniform. Karin from sfa3 wears a one piece underneath her school uniform. Perhaps something that can easily be stripped down.
My try at a name: Aqualicous for the team, and for the android, just pick a name you like then make an acronym around it.
edit:karin has two pieces
[this message was edited by Black_Hayato on Tue 30 Mar 22:25] |
| Ammadeau 824th Post
Red Carpet Regular Member+
| "Re(2):Designs for a new webcomic" , posted Tue 30 Mar 22:26
quote:
Thats an original idea you have there. Would a wetsuit be impractical if they're spending most of the time on in the underwater city? If anything putting on a wetsuit would be like putting on a coat to go out into the weather. Maybe the students can wear a two part uniform. Karin from sfa3 wears a one piece underneath her school uniform. Perhaps something that can easily be stripped down.
Well, most of their classes involve getting in the water at some point so even a quick change seems impractical. While classes like math and language are dry, even the cooking class involves swimming.
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My try at a name: Aqualicous for the team, and for the android, just pick a name you like then make an acronym around it.
Heh, that's a cute name, but it's supposed to be an insult. If other girls started calling them that, I think it would create the opposite impression. :p
The acronym is already there, CU-01, I'm looking for a name that Natsuko could give the android when they try passing her off as human. But I've got a while before I reach that so it's not important.
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| Ammadeau 826th Post
Red Carpet Regular Member+
| "Re(6):Designs for a new webcomic" , posted Wed 31 Mar 00:48
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I think you can find some scans of Murata's suits at http://www.stick-click.com but I don't really know of any good image galleries for Uchuu no Stellvia. I noticed I left out an l on Stellvia last time... maybe you'll be able to google something on it.
I went to Click's site first thing, but the only suits I saw were heavily nipple-oriented, which doesn't seem right for a military academy. Stellvia proved very helpful though. Found a huge image gallery and already got some changes I'd like to make. Can't believe I didn't think of adding a belt. ^_^;;
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Anyway if I were to go about doing the designs I'd probably try to incorporate elements of the traditional sailor schoolgirl uniform into a form fitting suit. The first thing I would chang is the shoulders, something that looks like the big puffy sleeves similar to what Sakura from SFA wears. The sailor skirt probably wouldn't work underwater... but I'd try for a ribbon or at least one piece of flowing material on the outfit.
It's a military academy so sailor fuku doesn't really fit, but I really like the idea of something flowing out for underwater scenes. That's the main reason Megumi has a long braid and the two hanging stands in front. Not sure how to do it though without making it into something that's obviously just for effect and completely impractical. Have to brainstorm about it for a bit.
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As for the mermaid girl, you might want to experiment with different flesh tones to distinguish her.... I couldn't really tell those were gills by her rib cage, I just thought they were tattoos like the ones on her shoulder.
I tried giving her bluish or greenish skin, but in the end it made he look much more alien than I wanted her to be. Her skin is actually tinted green as it is, though very diluted. The problem is gills really do look like lines, though maybe I could do something with shading to make it clearer what they are. It'll be mentioned in the comic at some point, though it would be nicer if it were something the reader has at least the chance of guessing beforehand.
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| ZamIAm 1218th Post
Red Carpet Executive Member
  
| "Design" , posted Thu 1 Apr 09:33
quote:
Plot is actually pretty complicated so I won't try to explain it all here. The main reason I'm posting is selfishly looking for a little help on this. So any comments anyone has about the character designs, especially the design of the school uniform, would be very nice to hear. The uniform needs to function both in and out of the water which is why its basically a wetsuit and I tried to keep it simple because I'm going to be drawing it a heck of a lot, but because of that I'd like it to look as good as possible so I wouldn't mind adding a few more likes if it helps it to look better.
I think that the school uniform and "snitch wear" should go hand in hand. It's not like their identities are secret. A full suit allows (minor) protection from attack and more ability to hold accessories. Besides, I think it would make more sense to gear up rather than dress down for a mission. Or perhaps have a wetsuit and the "uniform" is a vest that fits over it with a badge or something.
quote:
Also need a little story-related help. The most important thing is I need a name other students call the Natsuko-Megumi partnership. Pity Dirty Pair is already taken. I'm looking for something that's meant to be insulting, but that the two girls could still accept as their name, so it can't be really insulting. Not something a teacher would mark you down for if they caught you saying anyway. Bonus points if its somehow sea or water related.
The only thing I can think of is Tattlesharks but that sounds so corny.
quote:
Also, I'd like to have nicknames for the different years, also sea-related. I'm thinking the first year students would be Guppies while 4th year (which is optional and for special forces types) would be Barracudas. That still leaves me with nothing to call 2nd or 3rd year though.
2nd: Salmon
3rd: Pirahna
quote:
And I'm drawing a blank for a name for CU-01, though I might think of something by the time I get to her. Something a little unusual would be best and she's also kind of like a mermaid... little hard to explain, though this will be the first time she's actually had legs since she operated in space before then.
Cunei? (kyuu-NAY) Short for Cuneiform, an ancient type of writing developed in the middle eastern country of Sumeria. Actually, Cuneiform is four syllables but I guess Cunei would be two.
Curious: What country (or remnants since the earth is flooded)is this academy near?
I think that Natsuko's gills should be on her neck for practical reasons. This would allow her intake of water and air to be mildly seperate. If she can keep the air in her lungs seperate from the water she's breathing while underwater, her lungs would be able to act as an air bladder (ballast?). This allows fish to stay still without sinking. This could be useful in avoiding attention from sonar and sharks. Taking all this into account, she shouldn't need a rebreather unless the water has contaminants (though you could use that as a plot point). Does she have shades or goggles? Though goggles are useful if she is attacked, she shouldn't need them to actually see underwater if she is already genetically modified to breathe underwater. And you might want to work on the skin tint since it looks more like a mild tan though I understand the concept of making the tint to her skin subtle.
If I can think of anything else, I be sure to post...
Street of Rage: Tthe Animated Series
-Coming to Cartoon Network October 2004
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| Ammadeau 832th Post
Red Carpet Regular Member+
| "Re(1):Design" , posted Thu 1 Apr 11:19
quote:
I think that the school uniform and "snitch wear" should go hand in hand. It's not like their identities are secret. A full suit allows (minor) protection from attack and more ability to hold accessories. Besides, I think it would make more sense to gear up rather than dress down for a mission. Or perhaps have a wetsuit and the "uniform" is a vest that fits over it with a badge or something.
There are two reasons they don't wear the school uniforms while 'snitching.' The biggest one is I want to draw them in different outfits because I'll be drawing them in the school uniform enough as it is... along with many other characters. Another is they often have to go to the surface for these jobs and it's hot as hell. Megumi can stand it, but Natsuko really has problems with the heat. Considering how long they sometimes have to wait for their marks to show up, it would be pure torture for her.
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The only thing I can think of is Tattlesharks but that sounds so corny.
It's cute, but it probably is too corny. Better than anything I've come up so far.
quote Salmon
3rd: Pirahna
Can't believe I didn't think of Pirahna, that's nice and vicious, though when I think of salmon I think of dinner. I think a non-edible fish would be better.
quote:
Cunei? (kyuu-NAY) Short for Cuneiform, an ancient type of writing developed in the middle eastern country of Sumeria. Actually, Cuneiform is four syllables but I guess Cunei would be two.
Very cute and something the scientist who created her might come up with. It's not something Natsuko would think of though so I'd have to alter a minor point of the plot to fit it, but I do really like it so I might just do that. :)
quote What country (or remnants since the earth is flooded)is this academy near?
I hadn't really decided, actually. I gave the characters Japanese names out of my habit, but Megumi isn't even from the same region as most of the other characters. So probably Japan, though it really doesn't have to be.
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I think that Natsuko's gills should be on her neck for practical reasons. This would allow her intake of water and air to be mildly seperate. If she can keep the air in her lungs seperate from the water she's breathing while underwater, her lungs would be able to act as an air bladder (ballast?). This allows fish to stay still without sinking. This could be useful in avoiding attention from sonar and sharks.
Wouldn't they be too small for to be useful breathing if they're on her neck? And I thought gills work by letting the water pass through them, not actually retaining the water for very long, so that the lungs could still act as an air supply. I'm weak in biology so I though placing them on the chest would be more functional. It's also a bit more unusual.
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Taking all this into account, she shouldn't need a rebreather unless the water has contaminants (though you could use that as a plot point).
Actually, I drew the rebreather before I even decided what it was and then just didn't remove it. I'm almost finished drawing the first page and she doesn't wear one there. Though I thought about it and she probably would wear one in the water just in case she comes across someone who needs the air from it.
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Does she have shades or goggles? Though goggles are useful if she is attacked, she shouldn't need them to actually see underwater if she is already genetically modified to breathe underwater. And you might want to work on the skin tint since it looks more like a mild tan though I understand the concept of making the tint to her skin subtle.
They're shades. She only wears them out of the water for the percise reason that her eyes have been slightly modified to work well in the water where it's darker and distorted by water. So she needs perscription lenses to see well in an air enviroment. I'll play with the skin shading some more, though I still don't want her to look too alien. It shouldn't be something people notice from only a passing glance... outside of the gills I mean. Because that would lead to a whole prejudice thing and I really don't want to go there. From the science experiment that she was born from, there's now a process where other people can have gills.
quote:
If I can think of anything else, I be sure to post...
Please do and thanks for these comments. The first page should be done soon... even if it's going to be a bit perverted. ^_^;;
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| ZamIAm 1219th Post
Red Carpet Executive Member
| "Re(2):Design" , posted Thu 1 Apr 19:02
quote:
There are two reasons they don't wear the school uniforms while 'snitching.' The biggest one is I want to draw them in different outfits because I'll be drawing them in the school uniform enough as it is... along with many other characters. Another is they often have to go to the surface for these jobs and it's hot as hell. Megumi can stand it, but Natsuko really has problems with the heat. Considering how long they sometimes have to wait for their marks to show up, it would be pure torture for her.
Okay, makes sense. Glad to see it was well thought out. You might want to give Natsuko some sort of sunscreen since large amounts of skin would be open to the sun.
quote:
It's cute, but it probably is too corny. Better than anything I've come up so far.
I GOT IT! Remora. It's a type of fish with a suction type thing under its jaw that hitches a ride on sharks. Scavengers who profit off of someone else's demise. And if you want to be cute, you could say "Remorons" :P
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Wouldn't they be too small for to be useful breathing if they're on her neck? And I thought gills work by letting the water pass through them, not actually retaining the water for very long, so that the lungs could still act as an air supply. I'm weak in biology so I though placing them on the chest would be more functional. It's also a bit more unusual.
Water passes into the mouth and out through the gills which intake oxygen and outtake carbon dioxide. Breathing. Sharks have to keep moving to retain the water flow while most fish with air bladders can manually move their mouth and gills to breathe. Thus, they wouldn't be too small if she keeps water flowing
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Can't believe I didn't think of Pirahna, that's nice and vicious, though when I think of salmon I think of dinner. I think a non-edible fish would be better.
I thought that if you caught it and it wasn't poisonous then it is edible...
I was going to say "Trout" but you can eat those too. "Blowfish"?
quote What country (or remnants since the earth is flooded)is this academy near?
I hadn't really decided, actually. I gave the characters Japanese names out of my habit, but Megumi isn't even from the same region as most of the other characters. So probably Japan, though it really doesn't have to be.
With the exception of mountains and volcanos like Mt. Fuji, most of Japan would no longer exist. Just to let you know.
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I'll play with the skin shading some more, though I still don't want her to look too alien. It shouldn't be something people notice from only a passing glance... outside of the gills I mean. Because that would lead to a whole prejudice thing and I really don't want to go there. From the science experiment that she was born from, there's now a process where other people can have gills.
I was about to suggest the skin color of a drowning victim but I'm not sure...
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The first page should be done soon... even if it's going to be a bit perverted. ^_^;;
Um, how much? I'm not a fan of fanservice but I ignore it when done with a good idea. At the same time, the only computers I have access to are school and library. Is it "work safe"?
Street of Rage: Tthe Animated Series
-Coming to Cartoon Network October 2004
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| Ammadeau 833th Post
Red Carpet Regular Member+
| "First perverted page" , posted Fri 2 Apr 04:53
Mermaid Academy 1
There are two reasons I did the first page this way. The long reason is I thought it would be interesting to introduce characters without showing their faces or knowing their names, only to have a full page image of the pair on page 3 that will finally show their faces. The short reason is I've been watching Agent Aika lately. :p
But hey, if this seems like a stupid idea I can change it. I'm willing to redo anything on the page as long as it doesn't mean redrawing the entire thing from scratch. I just realized I drew Natsuko's gills upside down. I'll fix that. ^_^;;
Though she has her original color here (faded through filters to simulate night), I've been playing with Natsuko's skin tone and come with four variants:
Colorful Natsuko
I'm willing to go with any one of these, so which one do people think is best?
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Okay, makes sense. Glad to see it was well thought out. You might want to give Natsuko some sort of sunscreen since large amounts of skin would be open to the sun.
I've put a lot of thought into this comic, though it might not always seem like it since there's really so much to think about. Sunscreen is something I've been thinking about, though applying it would be cumbersome. How about either a coating that can be applied in a spray fashion like a shower or the soap that they use when showering adds some kind of sunscreen protection to last the whole day? Lotioning up might result in fan service scenes, but it'll slow down the plot.
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I GOT IT! Remora. It's a type of fish with a suction type thing under its jaw that hitches a ride on sharks. Scavengers who profit off of someone else's demise. And if you want to be cute, you could say "Remorons" :P
This might actually be better as a nickname for second year students. Remorons is cute, but it's not a name Natsuko or Megumi can accept as their own. Maybe if was Remora 'something' and not just one word.
quote:
Water passes into the mouth and out through the gills which intake oxygen and outtake carbon dioxide. Breathing. Sharks have to keep moving to retain the water flow while most fish with air bladders can manually move their mouth and gills to breathe. Thus, they wouldn't be too small if she keeps water flowing
It does make sense that way, though there's also the problem of drawing them since outside of the very first image of her in the comic, Natsuko's neck is going to be really small and adding more lines there might end up being messy.
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I was going to say "Trout" but you can eat those too. "Blowfish"?
Hmm, Trout is actually pretty good even though it's edible. It's a meat eater which makes it a little vicious, but not too vicious, which is good for 2nd year.
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With the exception of mountains and volcanos like Mt. Fuji, most of Japan would no longer exist. Just to let you know.
Yeah, I thought it would be like that, but considering the flood was gradual, it would make sense Japan would be one of the first to start on an underwater city. Also, though I call it a city, it's really a number of cities stacked on top of each other all contained in a cone-like casing.
quote:
Um, how much? I'm not a fan of fanservice but I ignore it when done with a good idea. At the same time, the only computers I have access to are school and library. Is it "work safe"?
It's work safe and about the same level as the character designs. It's just the angles and such I chose and such. I don't ever plan to have true nudity in the series, though it'll come close sometimes.
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