Is My Ass Cracked? - http://www.mmcafe.com/ Forums

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Krzyzewski Man
132th Post

Regular Customer

"Is My Ass Cracked?" , posted Sun 16 Nov 11:20

Yes, I'm serious. I think I cracked, or at least bruised my tailbone (whatever it's called, it's at the top of where your butt cheeks split). I'm getting it checked out Monday.

If anyone's had a problem analogous to mine, please recommend something. Anything! I can barely get to bed!

Link Here Not mine

who cares.
CMFPIWSFAOMFG!!!!

Replies:

iggy

2044th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(1):Is My Ass Cracked?" , posted Sun 16 Nov 11:46

I'm afraid to ask but ... what... did... you... do with it?

And then

she said : "I heard your calling

little boston terrier! Be at rest

cause the beer is your warden! She'll always look after you. But you have to avoid to drink mixes. And watch out for the liqueur! I can't protect you from the liqueur!"

Krzyzewski Man
135th Post

Regular Customer

"Re(2):Is My Ass Cracked?" , posted Sun 16 Nov 11:52

quote:
I'm afraid to ask but ... what... did... you... do with it?

NOTHING!!! I never do anything anyway! Pour some water on those erogenous zones already! Sheesh!

Honestly, I don't have any idea what happened. All I did the day the pain started was sit around by my computer.

Aren't erogenous zones neato?
CMFPIWSFAOMFG!!!!

Holiday

2136th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(3):Is My Ass Cracked?" , posted Sun 16 Nov 11:58

MMCafe has become the Medical Malady Cafe! ^^

You've been visiting 4chan I bet, and enjoying the secret section!

Sounds like you did something to your sacrum (last bone in your spine)?
Hopefully it's nothing serious and it's just a pinched nerve or muscle pull.
Try applying heat to the area. Use something like a hot water bottle if you have one?
Or rub some ointment like a deep heat gel, and get someone to massage the area :)

Krzyzewski Man
139th Post

Regular Customer

"Re(4):Is My Ass Cracked?" , posted Sun 16 Nov 12:02:

quote:
You've been visiting 4chan I bet, and enjoying the secret section!

SHUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPP!!!!!!! AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

quote:
Sounds like you did something to your sacrum (last bone in your spine)?
Hopefully it's nothing serious and it's just a pinched nerve or muscle pull.
Try applying heat to the area. Use something like a hot water bottle if you have one?

Hey, actual medical advice. Thank you kindly.

quote:
Or rub some ointment like a deep heat gel, and get someone to massage the area :)

WHORE!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!

Edit: This is one of my best posts ever.

EROGENOUS

Aren't erogenous zones neato?
CMFPIWSFAOMFG!!!!

[this message was edited by Krzyzewski Man on Sun 16 Nov 12:21]

Undead Fred

1073th Post

Red Carpet Premium Member

"Re(1):Is My Ass Cracked?" , posted Sun 16 Nov 12:50

I found a penny yesterday. I think I'm gonna have a peanut butter sandwich for lunch today. Is anyone else watching TV right now? I am.

THAT'S DANNY. His hometown is New Orleans.

Juan

3598th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"doctor" , posted Sun 16 Nov 13:11

I think the main problem here is that you have something up your ass.

Actually, that explains a lot!

quote:
If anyone's had a problem analogous to mine, please recommend something. Anything! I can barely get to bed!

I am Viewtiful

you scumbag!

Hungrywolf

2486th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(1):doctor" , posted Sun 16 Nov 13:39

quote:
I think the main problem here is that you have something up your ass.

Actually, that explains a lot!

If anyone's had a problem analogous to mine, please recommend something. Anything! I can barely get to bed!

Dr. Juan knows best!

CATTUNA

"no again my apoligizes for anyone i offend!!!!!"
Hungry Like the Wolf

ONSLAUGHT

2461th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Hole in one" , posted Sun 16 Nov 17:28

quote:
I think the main problem here is that you have something up your ass.

His head maybe?

Krzyzewski Man
140th Post

Regular Customer

"Re(1):Hole in one" , posted Mon 17 Nov 10:15

quote:
I think the main problem here is that you have something up your ass. Actually, that explains a lot!

SHIIIIIIIINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

quote:
His head maybe?

ALL OF YOU EAT SHIT AND DIE!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, my ass doesn't hurt as much, but now I've got this bump that won't stop bleeding. Anyway, I'm heading down to the college clinic today (it's finally open again).

Aren't erogenous zones neato?
CMFPIWSFAOMFG!!!!

Krzyzewski Man
142th Post

Regular Customer

"The Cause" , posted Mon 17 Nov 12:20:

The doctor quickly diagnosed me as having a pilonial(sp?) cyst, of which I know nothing about. In the words of my doctor, "These really suck, especially when they're in your crack."

Well, here's the part where I'd thank someone, but since everyone pretty much just joined in on the "Make fun of Krzyzewski Man when he's in excruciating pain" parade, I will thank no one.

Aren't erogenous zones neato?
CMFPIWSFAOMFG!!!!

[this message was edited by Krzyzewski Man on Mon 17 Nov 12:21]

Hungrywolf

2489th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(1):The Cause" , posted Mon 17 Nov 15:03

quote:
The doctor quickly diagnosed me as having a pilonial(sp?) cyst, of which I know nothing about. In the words of my doctor, "These really suck, especially when they're in your crack."

Well, here's the part where I'd thank someone, but since everyone pretty much just joined in on the "Make fun of Krzyzewski Man when he's in excruciating pain" parade, I will thank no one.

In all seriousness, I hope you get better soon.

Here is a get well present:

MESSATSU

"no again my apoligizes for anyone i offend!!!!!"
Hungry Like the Wolf

Krzyzewski Man
152th Post

Regular Customer

"Re(2):The Cause" , posted Mon 17 Nov 16:22

quote:
In all seriousness, I hope you get better soon.

Thanks a bunch.

quote:
Here is a get well present:
MESSATSU

Thanks a slightly lesser bunch.

And about pilondial cysts: Link Here

Aren't cysts neato?
CMFPIWSFAOMFG!!!!

thebigword
104th Post

Regular Customer

"Re(3):The Cause" , posted Mon 17 Nov 17:31:

quote:
In all seriousness, I hope you get better soon.

Thanks a bunch.

Here is a get well present:
MESSATSU

Thanks a slightly lesser bunch.

And about pilondial cysts: Link Here

I actually had the same problem beginning in 2001. It was a pilondial(I forgot how to spell it) cyst on my tailbone as well, the worst place you can have a cyst. Over the course of the year, it grew to the size of a golf ball. You need to get that removed before it becomes more serious. It could seem fine, but could grow into a bigger problem later, like mine did. I was out of work for 3 months, and a year later had to have the same surgery for the same problem.

Sorry you're having problems, you need to get it taken care of quick.

EDIT* I didn't want someone to lose his/her appetite or put them to sleep so I removed the gross and boring shit. I was just trying to get across that it can be a serious issue*

[this message was edited by thebigword on Mon 17 Nov 18:39]

Undead Fred

1082th Post

Red Carpet Premium Member

"Re(3):The Cause" , posted Mon 17 Nov 17:48

Well, you see, today I was at work, and I was thinking, "I'm not that hungry. I'll just skip lunch and eat something later." But one of my teachers... man, I like that Bailey's commercial. That girl's really cute... anyway, one of my teachers (his name is Bill) was asking if I would be getting lunch sometime (so I could pick something up for him too while I was out), but I said no. Hold on, lemme send an IM. Okay, that's done. Anyway, he sounded kind of disappointed because... ah, a response. Oh yeah, he ended up having to go get lunch himself.

Man, my ears are stopped up. This movie on TV sucks... I think I'm going to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That's a good movie. Good thing this cold's going away. Okay, I'm going to have another sip from my soda... there we go.

I like this sticker on my cel phone. It's an eyeball, and it... I can't stand this movie anymore. I've got to put Chainsaw on. I've got work I need to do, but I think I'll draw boobs first, and then get to work. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Anyone out there who draws at all should get a wacom. You can get a cheap one from your local computer store for about $80. Heh heh.... the guy that does the intro voice-over to Chainsaw is named John Larroquette. I'm not sure if it's the same one that had his own show about owning a bus station, but that would be cool. Oh, this part's cool...

THAT'S DANNY. His hometown is New Orleans.

Juke Joint Jezebel

2491th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(4):The Cause" , posted Mon 17 Nov 20:08

quote:
Well, you see, today I was at work, and I was thinking, "I'm not that hungry. I'll just skip lunch and eat something later." But one of my teachers... man, I like that Bailey's commercial. That girl's really cute... anyway, one of my teachers (his name is Bill) was asking if I would be getting lunch sometime (so I could pick something up for him too while I was out), but I said no. Hold on, lemme send an IM. Okay, that's done. Anyway, he sounded kind of disappointed because... ah, a response. Oh yeah, he ended up having to go get lunch himself.

Man, my ears are stopped up. This movie on TV sucks... I think I'm going to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That's a good movie. Good thing this cold's going away. Okay, I'm going to have another sip from my soda... there we go.

I like this sticker on my cel phone. It's an eyeball, and it... I can't stand this movie anymore. I've got to put Chainsaw on. I've got work I need to do, but I think I'll draw boobs first, and then get to work. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Anyone out there who draws at all should get a wacom. You can get a cheap one from your local computer store for about $80. Heh heh.... the guy that does the intro voice-over to Chainsaw is named John Larroquette. I'm not sure if it's the same one that had his own show about owning a bus station, but that would be cool. Oh, this part's cool...

ASH

War / Peace / Love / Grief

Krzyzewski Man
156th Post

Regular Customer

"Re(4):The Cause" , posted Mon 17 Nov 20:39

quote:
Sorry you're having problems, you need to get it taken care of quick.

Yeah, I have surgery, or something to that effect, 2:00 Friday.

quote:
Well, you see, today I was at work, and I was thinking, "I'm not that hungry. I'll just skip lunch and eat something later." But one of my teachers... man, I like that Bailey's commercial. That girl's really cute... anyway, one of my teachers (his name is Bill) was asking if I would be getting lunch sometime (so I could pick something up for him too while I was out), but I said no. Hold on, lemme send an IM. Okay, that's done. Anyway, he sounded kind of disappointed because... ah, a response. Oh yeah, he ended up having to go get lunch himself.

Man, my ears are stopped up. This movie on TV sucks... I think I'm going to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That's a good movie. Good thing this cold's going away. Okay, I'm going to have another sip from my soda... there we go.

I like this sticker on my cel phone. It's an eyeball, and it... I can't stand this movie anymore. I've got to put Chainsaw on. I've got work I need to do, but I think I'll draw boobs first, and then get to work. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Anyone out there who draws at all should get a wacom. You can get a cheap one from your local computer store for about $80. Heh heh.... the guy that does the intro voice-over to Chainsaw is named John Larroquette. I'm not sure if it's the same one that had his own show about owning a bus station, but that would be cool. Oh, this part's cool...

My pilondial cyst pwns your eyeball sticker.

Aren't cysts neato?
CMFPIWSFAOMFG!!!!

Undead Fred

1084th Post

Red Carpet Premium Member

"Re(5):The Cause" , posted Mon 17 Nov 21:10

quote:
My pilondial cyst pwns your eyeball sticker.

Touche, salesman...

THAT'S DANNY. His hometown is New Orleans.

iggy

2065th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(5):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 00:31:

Ah! I got it! Your attempt for a gimmick to become the 'porn loving man' of the cafe failed miserably, so you're digging (so to speak) a new gimmick to become the 'man that got something up his ass' of the cafe !
You're right, every forum needs a 'man that got something up his ass'.
Got it? got it? Me so clever!
Me want banana.

And then

she said : "I heard your calling

little boston terrier! Be at rest

cause the beer is your warden! She'll always look after you. But you have to avoid to drink mixes. And watch out for the liqueur! I can't protect you from the liqueur!"

[this message was edited by iggy on Tue 18 Nov 00:56]

Krzyzewski Man
159th Post

Regular Customer

"Re(6):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 06:32

quote:
Touche, salesman.

What? I'm not a salesman - that would require me to get a job.

quote:
Ah! I got it! Your attempt for a gimmick to become the 'porn loving man' of the cafe failed miserably, so you're digging (so to speak) a new gimmick to become the 'man that got something up his ass' of the cafe !
You're right, every forum needs a 'man that got something up his ass'.
Got it? got it? Me so clever!
Me want banana.

There IS NOTHING UP MY ASS!!!!!

NO BANANA FOR JOO

Aren't cysts neato?
CMFPIWSFAOMFG!!!!

Iggy

2065th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(7):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 07:14

quote:
There IS NOTHING UP MY ASS!!!!!

Down your ass?

And then

she said : "I heard your calling

little boston terrier! Be at rest

cause the beer is your warden! She'll always look after you. But you have to avoid to drink mixes. And watch out for the liqueur! I can't protect you from the liqueur!"

Juan

3606th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(8):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 07:17

Link Here

quote:
There IS NOTHING UP MY ASS!!!!!
Down your ass?

I am Viewtiful

you scumbag!

Krzyzewski Man
161th Post

Regular Customer

"Re(9):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 09:11

quote:
Link Here

May God infect you with gonorrhea.

quote:
There IS NOTHING UP MY ASS!!!!!
Down your ass?

May Anna Nicole Smith trigger your erogenous zones.

Aren't cysts neato?
CMFPIWSFAOMFG!!!!

Iggy

2067th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(10):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 09:49

quote:
May Anna Nicole Smith trigger your erogenous zones.

I already said it : no fat chicks!

And then

she said : "I heard your calling

little boston terrier! Be at rest

cause the beer is your warden! She'll always look after you. But you have to avoid to drink mixes. And watch out for the liqueur! I can't protect you from the liqueur!"

Krzyzewski Man
164th Post

Regular Customer

"Re(2):Re(10):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 10:00:

quote:
I already said it : no fat chicks!

But she loves you, man! It's a perfect match!

Aren't cysts neato?
CMFPIWSFAOMFG!!!!

[this message was edited by Krzyzewski Man on Tue 18 Nov 10:37]

Iggy

2068th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(3):Re(10):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 10:08

quote:
But she loves you, man! It's a perfect match!

Let me rephrase it : no chick that can occupy the whole 5 miles area of my erogenous zones by herself.

And then

she said : "I heard your calling

little boston terrier! Be at rest

cause the beer is your warden! She'll always look after you. But you have to avoid to drink mixes. And watch out for the liqueur! I can't protect you from the liqueur!"

Undead Fred

1087th Post

Red Carpet Premium Member

"Re(4):Re(10):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 10:15

quote:

Let me rephrase it : no chick that can occupy the whole 5 miles area of my erogenous zones by herself.

And she must be able to say more than "BLARG BLARG BLARG CUPCAKE! BLARG BLARG!"

THAT'S DANNY. His hometown is New Orleans.

Iggy

2069th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(5):Re(10):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 13:29

quote:
And she must be able to say more than "BLARG BLARG BLARG CUPCAKE! BLARG BLARG!"

...
not necessarely.

And then

she said : "I heard your calling

little boston terrier! Be at rest

cause the beer is your warden! She'll always look after you. But you have to avoid to drink mixes. And watch out for the liqueur! I can't protect you from the liqueur!"

Krzyzewski Man
167th Post

Regular Customer

"Re(6):Re(10):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 13:51

quote:
And she must be able to say more than "BLARG BLARG BLARG CUPCAKE! BLARG BLARG!"
...
not necessarely.

True, true. I myself prefer my women knowing only the words "yes," "please," and "more."

Aren't cysts neato?
CMFPIWSFAOMFG!!!!

Iggy

2072th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(7):Re(10):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 14:05:

quote:
True, true. I myself prefer my women knowing only the words "yes," "please," and "more."

This may be a bit to much of vocabulary for me. I don't like to feel threatenned by someone who wants to show he's more clever than I am.

And then

she said : "I heard your calling

little boston terrier! Be at rest

cause the beer is your warden! She'll always look after you. But you have to avoid to drink mixes. And watch out for the liqueur! I can't protect you from the liqueur!"

[this message was edited by Iggy on Tue 18 Nov 14:07]

Juan

3609th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(8):Re(10):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 14:06

By the way, Sunday's newspaper said that Anna Nicole Smith lost 90 pounds.

...

She looks the same!

quote:
True, true. I myself prefer my women knowing only the words "yes," "please," and "more."

This may be a bit to much of vocabulary for me. I don't like to feel my intelligence threatenned.

I am Viewtiful

you scumbag!

Undead Fred

1090th Post

Red Carpet Premium Member

"Re(9):Re(10):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 16:00

quote:
By the way, Sunday's newspaper said that Anna Nicole Smith lost 90 pounds.

...

She looks the same!

Every time someone mentions Anna Nicole's weight, I think of that weekend update on SNL (or was it that David Spade thing?) where they said that Anna got a tattoo "of a regular-sized ass on her great, big, fat ass."

THAT'S DANNY. His hometown is New Orleans.

Krzyzewski Man
170th Post

Regular Customer

"Re(10):Re(10):The Cause" , posted Tue 18 Nov 16:20

I wonder what would happen if Anna Nicole Smith got a cyst on her ass?

Just wondering.

Aren't cysts neato?
CMFPIWSFAOMFG!!!!