Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished - http://www.mmcafe.com/ Forums

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Ammadeau

539th Post

New Red Carpet Member

"Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Wed 12 Nov 22:24:

http://www.ammadeau.net/kumiko/

For the interested, I've finally completed the first 19 pages of my webcomic Akumika (along with several gallery images) that completes the first part. Only 37 parts left to go, though hopefully they won't suffer from hard drive crashes and my own temporary loss of interest. ^_^;;

Any comments on the comic or the website for it are welcome. For those who might want more detail, I've also made 'The Illustrated Kumiko' which is the first chapter of the story spliced with some panels from the comic. You can also see the giftart I've gotten for the series (including Rid's that I use for my av), though I could always use more. :p

I know I still have a lot to learn about this drawing thing, but at least I can see some progress made when I compare my work on page 1 to the page I just completed. I wish there was some way to speed up this process, but I'm resigned to the fact that it'll just take... ugh, more practice.

[this message was edited by Ammadeau on Wed 12 Nov 22:29]

Replies:

exodus

1470th Post

Red Carpet Executive Member

"Re(1):Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Wed 12 Nov 22:44

I'm really liking the story!

though I have a couple of problems with character motivation, this is scifi, so I'll suspend my disbelief.

However, if she did all this research to find the least worthwhile human on the planet, he'd probably not have the kind of moral code that he does, don't you think?

Even so, it makes for better reading if he has one.

I think that my main problem would be fixed if you were to change her reason for choosing him, just slightly. Maybe you can ammend this later? Something about like...genes or something?

Ammadeau

540th Post

New Red Carpet Member

"Re(2):Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Thu 13 Nov 02:18:

quote:
I think that my main problem would be fixed if you were to change her reason for choosing him, just slightly. Maybe you can ammend this later? Something about like...genes or something?

I'm not sure how to get this into the comic (if you have a suggestion on how I'm willing to try it) since its expository (therefore wordy), but how it works is a demon is given a specfic area (say Tokyo) and they hunt for someone who has an excess of negative karma (ie bad people). Anyone they choose has to be approved by the Infernal Council who rule Hell. Kumiko's choices kept getting turned down until she chose Ken. I can't see her explaining this to Ken at their first meeting and Takahashi (who knows all about this) isn't going to volunteer it either.

Edit - Okay, I thought up a quick and dirty fix for this. I'm just going to do an omake comic which will explain the process in detail. It's cheap that I can't fit it in the actual story, but that's one of the limitations from the fact that it's basically from Ken's POV.

[this message was edited by Ammadeau on Thu 13 Nov 03:06]

Juan

3586th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(3):Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Thu 13 Nov 06:43

I think that fix would be just fine. Other than that I like what you have on the comic.

quote:
Edit - Okay, I thought up a quick and dirty fix for this. I'm just going to do an omake comic which will explain the process in detail. It's cheap that I can't fit it in the actual story, but that's one of the limitations from the fact that it's basically from Ken's POV.

I am Viewtiful

you scumbag!

Rid Hershel

5590th Post

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"Re(4):Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Thu 13 Nov 14:33

Practice is the wat to success!

And I like it so far ^_^

match of the millennium!

Gen

2188th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(3):Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Thu 13 Nov 15:36:

quote:
I think that my main problem would be fixed if you were to change her reason for choosing him, just slightly. Maybe you can ammend this later? Something about like...genes or something?

I'm not sure how to get this into the comic (if you have a suggestion on how I'm willing to try it) since its expository (therefore wordy), but how it works is a demon is given a specfic area (say Tokyo) and they hunt for someone who has an excess of negative karma (ie bad people). Anyone they choose has to be approved by the Infernal Council who rule Hell. Kumiko's choices kept getting turned down until she chose Ken. I can't see her explaining this to Ken at their first meeting and Takahashi (who knows all about this) isn't going to volunteer it either.

Edit - Okay, I thought up a quick and dirty fix for this. I'm just going to do an omake comic which will explain the process in detail. It's cheap that I can't fit it in the actual story, but that's one of the limitations from the fact that it's basically from Ken's POV.

You started over? You've got a lot of material worked out already.
Based on just the new comic...

"I chose you because no one will miss you when you are gone."
I thought he was just a "looser". He's probably not that much of a looser but he's a comedic-fiction schoolboy "looser". Sort of like Roger Wilco. He's not a "stud" and not evil. Though he may have story wise stereotypical 'looser' characteristics in the grand scheme of things he is a good guy and comes out a winner.
If you already have the story and you're not changing it then maybe an "omake" would be best.
Otherwise if you need to squeeze in an explaination, and you may be changing stuff this time around, maybe in the next episode(s) when they're in class you could have the demon lady argue with the professor after he/she states some notion that doesn't jive with the reality the demon lady knows of in which hell and other such things exist. It could be a physics or philosophy or folk lore course.

[this message was edited by Gen on Thu 13 Nov 16:25]

Ikari Loona
38th Post

Rare Customer

"Re(1):Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Thu 13 Nov 17:24

Some "next", "previous", "first" and "latest" strip links would make the comic more intuitive no navigate, like the great majority of webcomics out there - I understand you might want to try something different, but it's a bit annoying to have to constantly click on the archives... it's bound to get even more annoying as the strip progresses further...

"Beat the machine that works in your head!" - Guano Apes "Open Your Eyes"

exodus

1471th Post

Red Carpet Executive Member

"Re(2):Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Thu 13 Nov 17:29

quote:
Some "next", "previous", "first" and "latest" strip links would make the comic more intuitive no navigate, like the great majority of webcomics out there - I understand you might want to try something different, but it's a bit annoying to have to constantly click on the archives... it's bound to get even more annoying as the strip progresses further...

well, he releases the stuff in chunks, so...
and honestly I don't find it very annoying. I mean - it's a free webcomic, not much to complain about.

Ammadeau

542th Post

New Red Carpet Member

"Re(4):Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Thu 13 Nov 21:35:

quote:
If you already have the story and you're not changing it then maybe an "omake" would be best.
Otherwise if you need to squeeze in an explaination, and you may be changing stuff this time around, maybe in the next episode(s) when they're in class you could have the demon lady argue with the professor after he/she states some notion that doesn't jive with the reality the demon lady knows of in which hell and other such things exist. It could be a physics or philosophy or folk lore course.

I'm changing the story (at least in the details) so trying to squeeze an explination of something simple would not be a problem. The problem is the whole soul chosing process isn't simple. I've written the script for the omake and after pairing it down to the least amount of words as possible, it's still 4x as wordy as other pages. Trying to make a conversation about it within the actual comic would be very forced and silly (in a bad way.)

quote:
Some "next", "previous", "first" and "latest" strip links would make the comic more intuitive no navigate, like the great majority of webcomics out there - I understand you might want to try something different, but it's a bit annoying to have to constantly click on the archives... it's bound to get even more annoying as the strip progresses further...

This would mean making an html page for every comic or figuring out some sort of scripting thing. It takes me long enough just to finish a page so I really don't have the time for it, especially when I don't exactly have a huge readership to motivate me to endure such tedium. I'll probably try something when the archive is much larger, but at the rate I'm drawing that's still a long way off. Also, as I personal preference I like just being able to click on the page numbers rather than flipping through nexts and previouses to find the page I'm looking for.

[this message was edited by Ammadeau on Thu 13 Nov 21:40]

OrochiChris
27th Post

Rare Customer

"Re(5):Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Sun 16 Nov 12:03

I just finished reading the entire fic (well, all that you have up now, anyway ^_^;)... I don't think I'm at all qualified offer any kind of suggestions, but suffice it to say that I really liked the story a lot. It took a while before I could like Kumiko herself, though. ^^;

Spoiler (Highlight to view) -
The only thing that seemed, I dunno... weird, was Mio showing up at the very end. I would assume by writing pt. 40 that you plan on continuing this story (?)... but I liked the potential(?) coupling of Natsume and Ayame.

End of Spoiler

It took a few days to read it all... but once I find a series to read, dammit, I read all that I can, no matter how much eyestrain it causes... (I learned that the hard way reading all of Undocumented Features in several back-to-back-to-back reading sessions several years ago) ^^;

The Memphis police play Rockman games instead of eating donuts?

Ammadeau

547th Post

New Red Carpet Member

"Re(6):Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Mon 17 Nov 03:35:

Thanks! Though the series as a whole needs a lot of editing, which is holding me back from continuing it. I'll get around to it one of these days. Kumiko is rather selfish and childish, especially at first, so I'm not surprised you'd find her hard to like. But if every main female was just a clone of Belldandy that would be boring. :p

The character you mentioned in the spoiler was one I always intended to include earlier, but couldn't for various reason, so stuck them in the end, but if I do continue it, that character will of course serve some sort of purpose.

Uploaded the omake comic that explains the whole soul selection thing, though I sort of rushed it so the art isn't as good as it could have been. Spent too much time working on stupid little animation.
http://www.ammadeau.net/kumiko/akumika/images/kumi.GIF

[this message was edited by Ammadeau on Mon 17 Nov 03:37]

Orochichris
28th Post

Rare Customer

"Re(7):Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Mon 17 Nov 16:16

quote:
Thanks! Though the series as a whole needs a lot of editing, which is holding me back from continuing it. I'll get around to it one of these days. Kumiko is rather selfish and childish, especially at first, so I'm not surprised you'd find her hard to like. But if every main female was just a clone of Belldandy that would be boring. :p

Quite true, but I don't think it would have worked well to have a soul-sucking demonness that was overly kind and polite and stuff (which is why, I suppose, the Oh! My Kumiko (Aa! Kumiko-sama? ^^;) omake worked, IMO. ^^)

Ayame happens to be my favorite character at the moment, but then, I guess I have kind-of a 'thing' for pink- or red-haired angel-girls, so. ^_^;

Though I can readily say that I'd be a poor source of help from a creative standpoint (can't draw, and my writing sucks), if you need a proofreader or anything, I'd be glad to help. ^^;;;

The Memphis police play Rockman games instead of eating donuts?

Jazzie D

2218th Post

Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master

"Re(8):Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Mon 17 Nov 19:23

I don't what to say other than "There's a part of me that wants part 2 right now," but I guess I can be patient.

Tomo - Kimura-sensei

why did you become a teacher?
Kimura-sensei - CUZ I LIKE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS AND STUFF!

Ammadeau

548th Post

New Red Carpet Member

"Re(8):Akumika (my webcomic) - part 1 finished" , posted Mon 17 Nov 20:56:

quote:
Ayame happens to be my favorite character at the moment, but then, I guess I have kind-of a 'thing' for pink- or red-haired angel-girls, so. ^_^;

That explains it. For some reason, people who don't really like Kumiko always seem to really like Ayame, though it could be because they're almost polar opposites. I like them both, though having made them I'm a little biased. :p

quote:
I don't what to say other than "There's a part of me that wants part 2 right now," but I guess I can be patient.

Comments like this bring me happiness so I'll do my best to stop slacking off and puzzle out how the panels should go for page 20 (which for some strange reason is the hardest thing for me).

[this message was edited by Ammadeau on Mon 17 Nov 20:59]