Original message ([an error occurred while processing this directive] Views )[an error occurred while processing this directive]
| Treepull Aitch
19th Post
 
New Customer
|  "Evangelion! Evangelion! Evangelion!"
, posted Fri 21 Feb 02:43:
A few months back, I had too much time on my hands. I submitted a parody review of Evangelion for www.somethingawful.com's TruthMedia section.
Now, the review was 100% utterly bogus as per the creed of SA's TruthMedia, which states that:
This is a good thing because each and every single "TruthMedia" review in this section is complete and total bullshit created solely to generate flame mail from Internet citizens who, for some pathetic reason, have attached their egos to a movie, band, or game company. The sheer intensity that some people exhibit while defending whatever silly movie or band just boggles our minds, so this section of the site was created to prey upon these people's idiocy and use it for our own personal amusement.
Unfortunatly, it seems my review just wasn't good enough for SA, since it still remains to be published as of today, Feb 21.
I feel that the clinetele here would get a kick out of reading it, though, so here it is for your enjoyment. Comments welcome.
Overview: Based on the Dead Sea scrolls written by Joseph Smith, Evangelion is the inspiring story of a brave young boy who dared to dream of becoming a robot pilot to defend the Earth against evil space Aliens.
Pros: Concept by Hideaki Anno, the legendary creator of Gundam. A penguin that will appeal to lovers of beastiality everywhere. A calvacade of sexy Anime female characters...
Cons:...who are absolute headfucks. I swear, Evangelion has more nutcases than a can of Planters.
Hideaki Anno's semenal work for the Anime world, the backstory of Evangelion takes place in 2000, when half of Earth's people are killed by mysterious space Aliens. Fifteen years later, a scientist, Gendo, happens across a lost Dead Sea Scroll, which shows him the location of three super-powerful Alien-defeating robots known as the Evangelions. He thus gathers a secret task force -New Energetic Robot Victors (NERV)- to defeat those pesky Aliens, who happen to have stepped up their attacks lately.
The problem, though, is that NERV has only two pilots at this point; the Evangelion robots can only be steered by people with a high Angel Tank Field (AT Field) attribute. At which point, the main character, Gendo's son Shinji, is introduced. Hearing of NERV's deficit, he makes a journey to NERV's secret base of Tokyo-3, volunteering to be suffused with AT power - since birth, he has resented the Aliens for killing his mother, and wants payback.
After Shinji's first battle, though, his friends tease him. So, Misatou, the short-skirt-wearing El Capitan Senorita of NERV has a solution: After his first battle, she uses her authority as the Reaseach Head of NERV to enroll him into a "special" school where the students are more accepting of his "special needs".
The other main character in the story would be Shinji's mysterious sister Rei. Although intelligent (she graduated from university at 13 and manages to pilot the Evanglion on her first try) and sexy, she has a quick temper and needs sedatives to calm her down. The two siblings have the typical Japanese brother/sister relationship - they share homework, eat lunch at the same table in the canteen, bathe together and fantasize about hot, incestous sex with each other.
The other females in the series are no better. The German robot pilot, Asuza turns out to be one of those 'shemales' so common in the Anime world, who hopes to raise money for a sex-change operation by piloting the robot. She/ He also develops a thing for Rei, calling her a "little doll" as a term of endearment. Misatou also turns out to be a closet paedophile - indeed, entire episodes revolve her trying to seduce Shinji.
A major plot of the story involves the turn of Shinji's best friend Toji to evil. Toji is captured by the Alien leader Keel Lawrence and brainwashed. This is a great blow to the forces of NERV, because Toji was supposed to have the highest level of AT Field power in the world. Keel also kidnaps NERV's pre-eminent medic Ritsuko to build the Evil Evangelion to defeat the good guys once and for all.
In response, Commander Gendo decides a three-pronged approach to the problem. This sets off the standard "heroic quest" to be undertaken by the pilots. Asuza is stationed to defend the NERV Supercomputer against Alien attack, Rei is sent to the Dead Sea in Antarctica to find the Lance of Longitude, the legendary superweapon of the Evangelions, and Shinji undergoes the Issen Dance attack training, in order to execute the ultimate "killing attack" of the Lance.
The quests take time, though (about seven episodes in the middle of the series, all told), and a sense of urgency is built up by having, the Evil Evangelion and lesser Aliens terrorize the countryside, even causing the Evangelion 04 to vanish completely. Additionally, Ritsuko is subjected to gratitous sexual abuse by the Alien Committee. But good triumphs in the end. Despite an Alien stealing the retrieved Lance away to the Moon during combat, Shinji's courage and selfless heroism are enough to fight off the Evil Evangelion. During the confusion, Misatou and her commanding-officer-cum-boyfriend Kaji manage to infiltrate the Alien Geofront and rescue Ritsuko. They learn a shocking truth, however:
Spoiler (Highlight to view) -
Rei is an Alien!
End of Spoiler
Oddly, the series ends like a typical Anime. The Aliens are defeated, NERV is disbanded, and the Evangelion pilots resume their normal lives. Misatou gets a job teaching them home economics. In addition, she is cured of her deviant sexual tendencies and she marries Kaji. Shinji's mother comes back from the dead. The final scene is a gathering of the Evangelion cast, who congratulate Shinji because he has saved the world.
Now to the nitty-gritty. The robots are like Gohan in Dragonball, they can use power blasts but it is different from Dragonball because the robots can only fight for five minutes before they power down. This is because of budgeting problems on the part of the company.
In fact, I have exclusive infomation that there were supposed to have been more than four pilots, but Gainax ran out of money to draw so many robots on screen. They couldnt be bothered to change the story much, though (plus, they needed to sell more toys to make more money), so they had two more pilots, but killed them off in their debut episodes, so that is why the latter half of the series feels very rushed and is unlike the first half which has a lot of fighting and explosions.
This is probably because Gainax hired Hideaki Anno. Being one of the co-creators of Gundam, it was expensive to hire him to write the story and draw the robots. He also suffered an epileptic fit during the creation of the series, and Gainax had to send him to hospital and wait two months for him to recover. This compounded the financial strain on the company, and the production went over-budget. "Creative accounting" - read "fraud"- was needed to balance the books, and eventually, Anno's childhood friend, the vice-president of Gainax went to jail when the scandal was uncovered. Shame on you, Anno, for causing this to your only pal! Shame!
The voice dubbing by the Japanese "stars" (LOL! As if people that do cartoon voices can be considered famous!) is uneven at best. The Japanese-language ending song 'Fly Me To The Moon' is a true reflection of how well a direct translation can be superior to the Frank Sinatra original. However, the opening song 'A Thesis Against Cruelty To Aliens' is extremely J-Popish and thus, jarring on the ears. Maybe Gainax should have hired someone more experienced to sing it.
So is it worth your time? No. No, no, NO. Not unless you want your faith in Anime rent from your otaku soul like so much Dragon Balls shredded by the Wing Gundam DeathScythe. I sat through all thirteen hours of Evangelion's depravity and five minutes of sodomical undertones between Shinji and his *special* guardian angel, and I'm very much the worse for it. That's thirteen hours of my life I'll never get back. Damn you, Evangelion! Damn you!
Plot: 1
Voice Dubbing: 3
Art: 4
Soundtrack: 5
Overall: 13
[this message was edited by Treepull Aitch on Fri 21 Feb 02:53] |
| Replies:
|
| Grave
195th Post
Regular Customer
  
| "Re(1):Hate! Hate! Hate!" , posted Fri 21 Feb 16:58
quote:
Why I dislike Eva? (and I've disliked it since I saw the fansubs of it back when it was released in Japan) The characters uninteresting personality. Shinji may be the most unlikable character I've ever seen in an anime (the masturbation scene at the movie as a proof), Rei is just scary, and Asuka started as a fun character but suddenly turned into a dramatic one. Blah.
Yeah, really. If you didn't hate Shinji enough as it was, the masturbation scene was just ridiculous. Were we supposed to like this guy?
Personally, I disliked Eva more for the fact that yes, it started out as kind of interesting, and quickly degenerates into nothing. It seemed to do nothing more than try desperately to convince people how deep and smart it was. I didn't bite, and I guess that's why I could never get into it.
However, I do like a good deal of the character and mecha designs. But... that's not enough to redeem it for me.
|
| Juke Joint Jezebel 1575th Post
Red Carpet V.I.P- Platinum Member
    
    
    
|  "Fly Me to the Moon"
, posted Fri 21 Feb 18:07
i am also part of the minority that likes Evangelion, but i am not a blind zealot. i can see why so many people dislike it. (in advance, my post is probably full of spoilers from the series. i haven't seen both of the movies yet so i won't be commenting anything from them)
when i first finished watching the Evangelion series, i've gotta say that i (somewhat) fell with the majority. i thought the beginning and middle was great, the near-end was total shit, and the ending was weird. for (i think) the third time on this bbs, let me misquote Baghead: "in Eva, they give you characters for you to love, then they take them all away." it wasn't until i read Baghead's words and saw the series for the third or fourth time when i realized how beautiful Evangelion is
three of my most-favorite (and some of my most-hated) scenes are ...
- when the dummy plug forces Shinji's Eva to tear Suzuhara's apart
- when Asuka's mind was being raped by the 15th Angel
- when Rei killed herself to stop the 16th Angel
- and when Shinji had to choose between his friend and saving mankind
(i'm sure there's several others, but these are the ones that stuck out to me the most.) every time i watch each of those scenes, my adrenaline starts running, tears form at my eyes, and i don't know whether i should be angry, sad, or both. and that is one of the things that makes Eva beautiful. i don't think i even have to mention the music that was chosen for those scenes. in my eyes, from the scenes and music chosen for the introduction of each episode to the calm, surreal ending credits, this series is a masterpiece
Anno Hideaki must've had some trouble in his past, or must've been inspired by something that "normal people" would label as disturbing. he ignored the conventional and rammed his story, his characters, and our hearts into the ground. he turned comedy into a tragedy. he tortured each and every one of his characters until they were reduced to nothing. they were forced to endure and experience what many of us can't even begin to imagine. i personally think he chose to do that because of a past experience, and i honestly don't know why people think he did this as an attempt to make his series "deep." i'm mentioning this because that's twice that i've heard someone say that Eva was a failed attempt to be deep, and it (as Juan would say) DOES NOT COMPUTE
but as much as i like Eva, there's just two things about it that sticks in my mind, and that i dislike greatly. in a story, the main character almost always grows. Shinji, that whiney little shit, does not grow. that's all i'll say about Shinji. the other thing is the introduction of Kaoru. oh, i wish that they introduced him into the story much earlier. it would've made his death much more dramatic, and it would've helped us understand Shinji's pain a bit better. the first time i saw that scene, i didn't understand why Shinji took such a long time to kill Kaoru. if it were me, i would've crushed that Angel, then smeared his remains against the wall, spelling out clever phrases like "NIPPON ICHI" (i was gonna write "USA #1" but i just realized that Shinji's Japanese, hehe). but, if that Angel wasn't someone that i just met a few days ago, but was instead a friend that i've known for a long time, i would've been in tears, knowing that i'm about to lose one of the greatest people in the world. for a long time, i hated a lot about Evangelion. i hated how Anno twisted Asuka into a vegetable, i hated how he killed the Rei we grew attached to, i hated how he didn't let us know if the childrens' classmates survived the final attacks, the list goes on. but i've grown to appreciate those things. those certain pains and uncertainties is what makes Evangelion what it is
i really do hope that a huge majority of you read my post. there's many times that those who love Eva are simply labeled as another dumbass fanboy. i spent the time to write this so i can try to explain myself and explain why i love this story so much
Anal Sex. My Anti-Drug
|
| Rid Hershel 4615th Post
Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master
   
| "Re(2):and let me play among the stars" , posted Fri 21 Feb 19:40
I think I never was into "psychologial introspective" animes/games. I enjoy certain degree of realism in character interaction (like in Macross Plus, or Cowboy Bebop) but overloading a story with angst doesn't works with me. Probably because, even when having a somewhat "complex" personal story, I always tried to face my life with a smile. So I never ubderstood why antisocial characters like Shinji or Squall are so popular.
And as much as I understand why Hideaki Anno made the story like this (and for extension, why Kojima made MGS2 the way it is, both fooling the public into watching/playing something that they didn't expected/wanted to see), I never got to get sad (or any similar feeling) with Evangelion's ending, since I didn't got the time to like the characters enough...
I'm just happy that I didn't gave Gainax much money, I only got the Newtype 100% collection, and only because I think that the designs are awesome. Go Sadamoto go!
It's late and I'm tired, so excuse me if this post didn't made too much sense.
updated feb 17
|
| Juke Joint Jezebel 1578th Post
Red Carpet V.I.P- Platinum Member
|  "Re(3):and let me play among the stars"
, posted Fri 21 Feb 20:10
quote:
I think I never was into "psychologial introspective" animes/games. I enjoy certain degree of realism in character interaction (like in Macross Plus, or Cowboy Bebop) but overloading a story with angst doesn't works with me. Probably because, even when having a somewhat "complex" personal story, I always tried to face my life with a smile. So I never ubderstood why antisocial characters like Shinji or Squall are so popular.
And as much as I understand why Hideaki Anno made the story like this (and for extension, why Kojima made MGS2 the way it is, both fooling the public into watching/playing something that they didn't expected/wanted to see), I never got to get sad (or any similar feeling) with Evangelion's ending, since I didn't got the time to like the characters enough...
I'm just happy that I didn't gave Gainax much money, I only got the Newtype 100% collection, and only because I think that the designs are awesome. Go Sadamoto go!
It's late and I'm tired, so excuse me if this post didn't made too much sense.
i think i know why those anti-social characters are so popular. people can relate to them
for example, i can relate to the characters you named, and at one point i used to like them both greatly. for Shinji, well, i used to be Shinji. i know the shit he's gone through at the beginning of the series. if there's any character that comes close to my dad's personality, it's Gendo. i went through hell growing up with my dad's cold and fierce nature. Shinji, however, is a pussy who didn't learn from his experiences. if you compare me to the way i was just a few years ago, there's a huge difference. i have grown. maybe it's why i dislike Shinji so much. he reminds me so much of my old self. i've said this before: "i wish i could travel back in time so i can slap myself and tell myself to quit being such a faggot." as for Squall, his anti-social behavior is just damn funny. the things he thinks when other people talk to him are similar to my thoughts when i'm approached by idiots at school or at the store
quote:
I always tried to face my life with a smile.
i know what you mean. the way many of you feel towards Evangelion is how i feel towards the Kenshin OVA. it's a good story, and it was done well, but i don't ever want to see it again. i can't even look at a picture of Tomoe without feeling horrible inside
Anal Sex. My Anti-Drug
|
| Time Mage 1245th Post
Red Carpet Executive Member
| "Re(3):and let me play among the stars" , posted Sat 22 Feb 05:23
quote:
I think I never was into "psychologial introspective" animes/games. I enjoy certain degree of realism in character interaction (like in Macross Plus, or Cowboy Bebop) but overloading a story with angst doesn't works with me. Probably because, even when having a somewhat "complex" personal story, I always tried to face my life with a smile. So I never ubderstood why antisocial characters like Shinji or Squall are so popular.
I agree totally with the above (although I haven't had any real problems in life), but I like Evangelion, except the two last chapters. Those are just garbage.
Evangelion is fun, if you substract all the psicoanalysis and trascendental things. It's a great robot series, with great moments, like Shinji's eva eating that angel, or the coordinated battle (the one with Shinji and asuka).
But yes, I can't stand weak/antisocial characters, although Japanese tend to like that kind of personality. I'll always be with the cheerful or the cocky characters, like Asuka, Lina or Zeross(Slayers), Ikky(Saint Seiya), Vegeta(DB), etc...
|
| Saint Rygar
22th Post
New Customer
| "Re(3):and let me play among the stars" , posted Sat 22 Feb 14:38
quote:
I think I never was into "psychologial introspective" animes/games. I enjoy certain degree of realism in character interaction (like in Macross Plus, or Cowboy Bebop) but overloading a story with angst doesn't works with me. Probably because, even when having a somewhat "complex" personal story, I always tried to face my life with a smile. So I never ubderstood why antisocial characters like Shinji or Squall are so popular.
And as much as I understand why Hideaki Anno made the story like this (and for extension, why Kojima made MGS2 the way it is, both fooling the public into watching/playing something that they didn't expected/wanted to see), I never got to get sad (or any similar feeling) with Evangelion's ending, since I didn't got the time to like the characters enough...
I'm just happy that I didn't gave Gainax much money, I only got the Newtype 100% collection, and only because I think that the designs are awesome. Go Sadamoto go!
It's late and I'm tired, so excuse me if this post didn't made too much sense.
Hello again i think exactly the same about why i don't like eva in the first place, the life could be tough by itself and enjoy more troubles at the times of relax and fun? come on!!
I almost always look for characters with which it can identify to me somehow but in so depressing and "deep" series simply there is no way because my way to see the life is not like that i guess.
The character design it's great and the action it's really good but fails to me in the most important things story and characters. 
In spite of everything I understand that so much people love it but it's not for me 
P.D. Final Fantasy 8 could be so different if Laguna was the main character. 
There's no one without scars on his heart even if it exist it's just a shadow soul...
|
| Gojira 806th Post
Red Carpet Regular Member+
| "Re(5):and let me play among the stars" , posted Sat 22 Feb 19:24
I loved how Eva tried to bore me to death. Nothing like a 5 minutes scene of riding an elevator with nobody saying anything at all. Or a 10 minute closeup of a dresser while miss "she is maybe a slut" Misato goes at it with the slobby conspiracy guy. Then later it was all about repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, *minor thought*, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, the end.
quote:
P.D. Final Fantasy 8 could be so different if Laguna was the main character.
And yet, not "different" in a good way. Laguna was a moron. Taken in small doses he was okay but by NO means could I possibly take 60+ hours straight of his Forrest Gump-ish idiocy.
GSPX Progress: |>>>>>>42%-------|
Download my RPG here!
(Font problems? Download the font patch from here!)
|
| OYashiroForever
132th Post
Regular Customer
| "Re(7):and let me play among the stars" , posted Mon 24 Feb 15:58:
quote:
I agree. Squall isn't as bad as Shinji. At least Squall had character development. I actually liked Squall, but most don't seem to. Anyway, for something on topic, Eva looked to be building to something great through the first half and ended up just tearing everything apart in the second half. I guess that's a basic summary of my feelings.
1) I like Squall if only because he's a drastic change from the wave of spunky, over-caffeinated go-getters who lead most RPGs. The rest of FF8, however, I thought was absolute garbage: the second most tedious battle system ever (behind Legend of Drag-on), the "romance" that was supposed to be the focal point of the story was trite and nigh unwatchable, unbelievably bland music (with the exception of a couple tracks), the basketball court scene, the deus ex machina final boss. You name it, FF8 did it wrong in my opinion... except for Squall.
2) I'm not a big fan of mech anime or pseudo-intellectualism, so Eva was a big yawn for me. It started off fine and dandy, but then spiraled in to the depths of needless complexity. I'm convinced that when they started to run out of money, the first thing they cut from the budget was the second half of the story. I can just picture the board meeting now:
[Wayne and Garth dream sequence]
<sound of bong hit>
"If we make it needlessly complex, totally random and throw in some religious imagery, idiot fanboys will think it's deep and write thesis papers on it".
"Great idea! Can we have a masturbation scene too?"
"Sure, why not. Every other character is sexually dysfunctional... we'll make Shinji an exhibitionist."
<sound of bong hit>
"Oh wait... I got it. We'll make the ending so unintelligible that people will clamor for 2 seperate movies so we can "clarify" it."
"But then what are we gonna put in the movies?"
"Don't worry... the profits from the TV series and the wave of hentai games and model kits we put out should be enough to buy us a giant bag of crack. We will then inject said crack directly into our brains to come up with the story for the movies."
"Here here!!!"
<sound of bong hit>
[Wayne and Garth dream sequence over]
But I kid Gainax... 
"I haven't slept for 10 days because that would be too long."
"Your denial is beneath you and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs I see through you."
[this message was edited by OYashiroForever on Mon 24 Feb 16:00] |
|
|
"Prison of self consciousness(again) :P" 
"Re(4):and let me play among the stars" 
