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| TheBeast 604th Post
 
Red Carpet Regular Member
  
    
    
|  "Just Kidding (Part 1)!"
, posted Sun 14 Jul 07:50
OK apart from talking about games and life, I feel that we should have some jokes to share around. Hence this intiation to start a thread on jokes. As with all jokes, it isn't funny anymore if you have heard it before, so please be patience for the "spam" if you have already did.
I am not sure if this is againest the rules here on this board. I hope the prof doesn't mind though.  (If it does I shall refrain from doing) Anyway I try not to overdo this, or post dirty jokes, otherwise it will defeat the purpose of a gaming BBS.
So may I present joke number 1:
This actually happened at Harvard University in October last year. In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A female freshman raised her hand and asked:
If I understand, what you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar,in semen? That's correct," responded the professor, going on to add statistical info.
Raising her hand again, she asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burstout laughing. The poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had
inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class, never to return.
However, as she was going out the door, the Professor's reply was classic. Totally straight-faced he answered her question."It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat. Have a good day."
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Replies:
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| Toxico 2118th Post
Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master
    
    
 
|  "Re(1):Just Kidding (Part 1)!"
, posted Sun 14 Jul 08:26
quote:
OK apart from talking about games and life, I feel that we should have some jokes to share around. Hence this intiation to start a thread on jokes. As with all jokes, it isn't funny anymore if you have heard it before, so please be patience for the "spam" if you have already did.
I am not sure if this is againest the rules here on this board. I hope the prof doesn't mind though. (If it does I shall refrain from doing) Anyway I try not to overdo this, or post dirty jokes, otherwise it will defeat the purpose of a gaming BBS.
So may I present joke number 1:
This actually happened at Harvard University in October last year. In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A female freshman raised her hand and asked:
If I understand, what you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar,in semen? That's correct," responded the professor, going on to add statistical info.
Raising her hand again, she asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burstout laughing. The poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had
inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class, never to return.
However, as she was going out the door, the Professor's reply was classic. Totally straight-faced he answered her question."It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat. Have a good day."
JA JA JA JA JA!!!!! Here is a good one.
here is a ASCII map of the table of the classroom.
Me-------- Guy A
Guy B----- Guy C
My last name is Catalan, and Guy C last name was also Catalan.
It was just after giving a very though test and I was confident about my result, after some words about the level of the class he said "The results for this Test have shown a great improvement over the last Quiz, I feel it is my duty to congratulate you" Then he looked right straight to me and said: "In fact, YOU mr. Catalan have scored a 7.0 (maximun grade) on this Test" .
I inmediatly entered in my victory pose saying "Here's daddy kid, study hard and you all can be like me some day; womans have autorization to hug me".
Then the Teacher suddently interrupeted me and said What the heck are you doing???, I am speaking of the OTHER mr. Catalan... Ja JA, and you where already making an a big deal of yourself, I guess this must be like a cold shower to you... Ha Ha... .
I could not respond anything at the time (even though I usually do), because I was laughing madly...
After the class, the other Catalan said that the teacher was actually looking at me and not him; that's mean that the teacher predicted my reaction (because I always do things like those) and planned that joke.
The other Catalan scored 7.0 and I scored 6.5...
All of the classes of that teacher are like that, if he doesn't joke around I certainly do.
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| TheBeast 607th Post
Red Carpet Regular Member
| "Re(2):Just Kidding (Part 1)!" , posted Sun 14 Jul 08:43
quote:
JA JA JA JA JA!!!!! Here is a good one.
here is a ASCII map of the table of the classroom.
Me-------- Guy A
Guy B----- Guy C
My last name is Catalan, and Guy C last name was also Catalan.
It was just after giving a very though test and I was confident about my result, after some words about the level of the class he said "The results for this Test have shown a great improvement over the last Quiz, I feel it is my duty to congratulate you" Then he looked right straight to me and said: "In fact, YOU mr. Catalan have scored a 7.0 (maximun grade) on this Test" .
I inmediatly entered in my victory pose saying "Here's daddy kid, study hard and you all can be like me some day; womans have autorization to hug me".
Then the Teacher suddently interrupeted me and said What the heck are you doing???, I am speaking of the OTHER mr. Catalan... Ja JA, and you where already making an a big deal of yourself, I guess this must be like a cold shower to you... Ha Ha... .
I could not respond anything at the time (even though I usually do), because I was laughing madly...
After the class, the other Catalan said that the teacher was actually looking at me and not him; that's mean that the teacher predicted my reaction (because I always do things like those) and planned that joke.
The other Catalan scored 7.0 and I scored 6.5...
All of the classes of that teacher are like that, if he doesn't joke around I certainly do.
That was funny. Must be embarrassing yet fun.
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| Dominus 472th Post
Gold Customer
| "Re(1):Just Kidding (Part 1)!" , posted Sun 14 Jul 10:29
Here's one. This is actually a true story from high school.
One day, before school, I stopped by the store for some candy. I picked up a 1-lb. bag of Reese's Pieces, as they're one of my favorites, and was eating them off and on during the school day. About halfway through the day, in my geometry class, I started giving them away, because I was starting to get sick of them, when one girl, a friend of mine, turned to me and said "Oh! Let me have some of your Reese's Penis!"
The teacher, who was lecturing at the time, stopped dead, and everybody in the class started to bust up laughing. She turned bright red...
The Slithery-Dee came out of the sea.
He ate all the others
but he didn't eat me.
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| DKW
115th Post
Regular Customer
| "Re(2):Just Kidding (Part 1)!" , posted Sun 14 Jul 23:58
Q: What's the difference between Dan Hibiki and Demitri Maximoff?
A: Demitri only sucks at night.
Jubei Yagyu says, "No, I'm not related to that guy from Fatal Fury!" His opponent replies, "Cervantes De Leon is from Fatal Fury?"
Q: Why did Kyo Kusanagi need an extra year of high school?
A: Sakura Kasugano was his tutor.
Derrick Coleman: Hey! You don't dunk!
Scott Skiles: Yeah, well, you don't give a full effort for four quarters, either.
IIDX fan: Man you girls always seem to be together. Posters, promos, covers, you name it. The two of you are simply inseparable. It wouldn't be because...well...
Celica: No, we're not sisters.
IIDX fan: No, not that, I mean...
Erika: We're not cousins, either.
IIDX fan: No, not...
Celica: Or high school buddies.
IIDX fan: No, not...
Erika: Or background characters for the new DDR game.
IIDX fan: WHAT?? That's an outrage! I can't believe that ditz with the convertible beat you out!
A Police 911 officer attempts to sneak up on a suspect. Unfortunately, the suspect sees him and starts to flee.
Officer: He's getting away! What do I do?
Dispatch: Shoot him! Shoot him!
Officer: But...
Dispatch: Just do it! Hurry!
The officer fires at the suspect. The bullet penetrates his heart, instantly killing him.
Officer: I got him.
Dispatch: Good. Go ahead and slap on the 'cuffs.
Officer: Um, there doesn't seem to be any point to that, since he's dead and all.
Dispatch: What?? How can he be dead?
Officer: Well, I did shoot him...
Nervous pause.
Dispatch: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO USE THE ARREST GUN, YOU IDIOT!!
(Hey, you didn't say they had to be good jokes...  )
homepage - http://home.hawaii.rr.com/dkwff
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| Professor 1659th Post
MMCafe Owner
     
| "Re(4):Just Kidding (Part 1)!" , posted Wed 17 Jul 12:52
One day back when I was in junior high, I had a sudden craving for candy, and stopped by a news stand.
Young HM- "Hi. Do you have any Blowpop?"
Store Clerk- "WHAT?? You're not old enough for one, I'm sorry."
I had a blank look on my face for a moment, quite puzzled until I realized what the news stand clerk mistook the gum-centered candy for. Meanwhile, the clerk saw my blank face and mistook it for an expression of disappointment, and tried to make me feel better by saying that he "ran out of stock, yeah".
In the end, I decided to go away to another store. Then suddenly, the store clerk called me back, shouting..
"Wait! Come back in a few days, I'll have it in stock!"
What a saint.
 Click Me.
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| Dragon-warrior 422th Post
Gold Customer
| "Re(5):Just Kidding (Part 1)!true storys!" , posted Thu 18 Jul 06:23
MY Vrigin story
Hmmm where should I start?
Well one day I was walking in the Mall you know , after along day of classes , so I was tired, we went to see what is new , well as usually nothing new there, so we were boared (me and my room mate) so I suggest to go and have juice , in that time I was in love with the pinacelada (virgin Pinacelada) so we went to the store then there was two young girls so I asked one of them
ME: can I have a Pinacelada?
Then she said ok and she start making it, after 5 min (I remembered!!!!)
I want a Virgin Pinaclada, so when she was mixing the ice with the juice
I asked with a big smile on my face
Is it Virgin?
(you know the mixer makes a lot of noise, so she heard something else)
then she stops the mixer and she was looking at me like if I killed hear children and her father and her little brother.
At this moment I was O_O as if I saw death
She heard(as I think)are you a Virgin? Her friend (the other girl) was laughing to death!
She asked me Exuse me?
I asked again!I want a virgin pinacelada?
Then she looked at me as if I did not tell the truth (thank god her boy friend was not there)
Then I was looking at the other girl (I cannot say anything , so I was hoping she would)
And thank god again she told her , then all three of us were laughing to death!
I was laughing twice as they are because what happened to me and because my roommate was just behind me and he did not notice anything enjoying his Cola.
This is a true story!and I knew how dinking cola make a lot of things EASIER!
"Got Milk?"
Home sweet home.
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| ONSLAUGHT 2205th Post
Platinum Carpet V.I.P- Board Master
| "Mmmmhhh..." , posted Thu 18 Jul 23:54
quote:
Funny stuff guys. When is part 2? I have no funny stories at the moment.
ha ha, ok, here's mine:
A few weeks ago, I was spending a weekend on a friend's house, and his mother was preparing the food while we were playing some GBA games in his room, then she called us to eat.
She served us some beans and meat, and some strange balls of meat...
I was eating, and then she asked me "Hey Alex, do you want more eggs?"...
I was wondering why she called eggs to the meat...
Anyway, I ate like 4 of those strange meatballs, and at the end, I asked her why she called those meatballs eggs...
Are you calling them eggs because they look like eggs?-I asked
No, they're bull's eggs- she replied...
I was wondering "Bull's eggs? what the heck does that mean???"
And then I realized something... I was eating bull's testicles! ha ha ha
They're tasty though.
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"Control Crisis" 
