Original message
| Ted 627th Post
 
Red Carpet Regular Member
  
    
    
|  "BUy a War Plane From MCDonal/Douglas........."
, posted Mon 4 Mar 21:46
This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell
Douglas website by an employee there who obviously has a
sense of humor. The company, of course, does not (have a
sense of humor), and made the web department take it down
immediately. (In case you don't know: McDonnell Douglas is
one of the world's chief suppliers of military aircraft).
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Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military
aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please
take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration
card below. Answering the survey questions is not
required, but the information will help us to develop new
products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt.
[_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other
First Name: .....................................................
Initial: ........
Last Name: ......................................................
Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
Code Name: ......................................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ........... ..........
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat [_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon [_] F-117A Stealth [_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19...... / ...... / ......
4. Serial Number: ..............................................
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package [_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker [_] Mail order [_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus [_] Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up [_] Store display
[_] Espionage [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer [_] Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance [_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value [_] Comfort / convenience [_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems [_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America [_] Iraq [_] Central / South America
[_] Iraq [_] Aircraft carrier [_] Iraq [_] Europe [_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq) [_] Iraq [_] Africa [_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East [_] Iraq [_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq [_] Classified [_] Iraq
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to
purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV [_] VCR [_] ICBM [_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player [_] Air-to-Air Missiles [_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer [_] Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Check all that apply:)
[_] Communist / Socialist [_] Terrorist [_] Crazed
[_] Neutral [_] Democratic [_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt [_] Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending [_] Cash [_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues [_] Personal check [_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money [_] Traveler's check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker [_] Sales / marketing [_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical [_] Mercenary [_] Tyrant [_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire [_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired [_] Student
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please
indicate the interests and activities in which you and your
spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf [_] Boating / sailing [_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging [_] Propaganda / disinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow [_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening [_] Crafts [_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections [_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines [_] Interrogation / torture [_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing [_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
Your answers will be used in market studies that will help
McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well
as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers
from other companies, governments, extremist groups,
and mysterious consortia.
As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered
to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
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Play TED on Kawaks or Kalliera!
just Look me up online or Post a CHallage!
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