Original message
| Juan 1363th Post
 
Red Carpet Executive Member
   
    
    
    
|  "GM versus Microsoft! Fight! Fight!"
, posted Fri 22 Feb 11:41
I got this on the mail.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up
with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics:
l. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to
buy a
new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought CarNT,
but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive-but would run on
only
five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all
be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
9. The airbag system would ask, "are you sure" before deploying.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
and turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need
nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the
car's Performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become
a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
same manner as the old car.
13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
http://www.angelfire.com/tx/carniceria
Juan sucks!
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Replies:
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| Time Mage
199th Post
Regular Customer
|  "HaHaHaHa!!"
, posted Fri 22 Feb 13:25
quote:
" I got this on the mail.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up
with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics:
l. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to
buy a
new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought CarNT,
but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive-but would run on
only
five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all
be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
9. The airbag system would ask, "are you sure" before deploying.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
and turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need
nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the
car's Performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become
a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
same manner as the old car.
13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
"
Juan, this is great! Is it true? I can't believe they responded Bill with this!
Time has come... crash down on the wicked! Meteor!
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